It’s not about you!

You know the saying ‘ It’s not you, it’s me’ well, I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true – I’m sorry to say it, but it’s not ALL about YOU.

Anxiety, stress, worry and fear come from you taking things personally – when they’re not!

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not about you!

Most things in life are NOT personal, we like to think otherwise and our ego’s trick us into thinking that we are more important than we really are – I hate to break it to you, it’s not personal, it’s just not!

It can be hard to believe that I know when perhaps someone at work is making life difficult for you or when your relationship is under pressure and not going well.

However, the important thing to remember is that whatever the problem, challenge or situation is, it’s not really about you, it just

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Remembering that really helps lower your anxiety, worry, stress and fear and helps to replace it with a feeling of being in control and solution based.

Avoid making everything personal. When anxiety strikes, don’t allow it to force you to take blame for a situation outside of your control.

If someone shouts at you in the supermarket queue realise that that’s more about them than you, perhaps something happened just before you got there or they’re feeling unwell?

If you’re anxious and scared because your house was broken into, it may be easy to take it personally and blame yourself for the break-in, but it isn’t about you – people simply saw an opportunity and took it, unless you actually invited thieves into your home, which I doubt, then you can’t be held accountable for the robbing they did.

If an unexpected bill turns up on the doormat – think, it’s just a company procedure, it’s not about me personally, it’s just a procedure’

Maybe, you’re worried about an impending meeting or event and that is causing you anxiety – go ahead and think about whatever you are worrying about and repeat to yourself, ‘It’s not about me, It’s not about me, It’s not about me’

Even if someone, a loved one, partner, family member berates you and says nasty things to you, agin thats more about them than you. You are either not doing what they want you to do or you are reminding them of something in their emotional memory that they are not in control of and therefore dont like very much, again thats about them – not you!

This gives you a more detached and non emotional perspective to focus on.

A mantra could be ‘Nothing in life is personal, it’s not about me’ practise saying that at times of anxiety and stress, repeat it over and over and see how that positively changes your thinking and reaction to the situation.


For more information, help and assistance to effectively combat your anxiety please contact me on, FB lorannorthey TW lorannorthey, SK loran.northey or (UK) 7709 564426